CricketSoda’s Back

May 8, 2008 at 8:09 pm · Filed under Affairs, CricketSoda News, Featured, Humor

After a little downtime due to hosting issues, CricketSoda is back in action and going strong. Sorry about all the mess, I still love you all.

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Color Changing Mood Pants Don’t Really Fit my Diet

April 30, 2008 at 10:24 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, Reality

Just so you know, sometimes I fart. Farts happen to some people, and it is generally considered a natural body process by many scientists (just ask one). Sure, I know that I could reduce the amount and loudness, but I am not ashamed. I refused to eat beano, I refuse to stop eating beans/eggs/etc, and I refuse to squeeze when I feel one a-coming, just for your personal pleasure of watching me suffer from a rumble below.
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Pulling Out Doesn’t Work Learned the Hard Way by Community Minor

April 24, 2008 at 9:53 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, The Jerk (satire)

Community Minor Roquel Goro, a 13 year old minor that does nothing but get into trouble, learned the hard way today that pulling out doesn’t work. Goro and his girlfriend of two weeks decided to take their relationship to the next level and plan a date for the local fair. Once they arrived, it happened, just like it has happened to many underage hooligans, and their lives were changed forever.
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Computer Loses “Best Friend” Title After Freezing Mid-Battle

April 7, 2008 at 4:00 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, The Jerk (satire)

According to eye-witnesses on the scene the G-X-4800, massive water cooled gaming platform, that belongs to local gamer John Bo Jovia is no longer considered Jovia’s best friend after freezing during last battle of a 8 hour World of Warcraft raid. Jovia’s friends seemed overjoyed at the development because it promises more time with Jovia, but Jovia is devastated at the recent turn of events.
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This week in Online Comic History

March 10, 2008 at 8:25 pm · Filed under Comics, Humor

Here at CricketSoda we don’t have a dedicated comic artist on staff yet. We plan on having one, but until we do, our Comic section suffers. Every now and then I get a spurt of inspiration and decide to create a collection of poorly drawn photoshop comics like my For Your Safety Series (http://www.cricketsoda.com/content/for-your-safety/), but so far that has only happened once.
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Scrabble Lost Blamed on Letters; Friends Blame Brain

March 5, 2008 at 10:06 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, The Jerk (satire)

According to Frankline Mclatterson the last game of Scrabble he lost was only due to his unlucky draw of letters, and not because the other person actually had more scrabble skill. Mclatterson’s claims that his letters , 4 e, 2 u, and 1 s left him nothing to play except his three point losing word.
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Sarah Silverman Touches Jimmy Kimmel’s Hot Flame

February 27, 2008 at 6:45 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, Reality

If you remember Matt Damon once blew up at Jimmy Kimmel for blowing him off, show after show. I’m sure it didn’t feel too good when Sarah Silverman pulled this one out on his birthday show:
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MySpace more like Party than Loser Wanted

February 18, 2008 at 8:27 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, The Jerk (satire)

According to inside sources, local loser Robbie Mctailersono, found Myspace to be just like all the parties he was rejected at, and if he doesn’t get a comment soon he threatens to delete his account.
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Jamie Lynn Spears’ Unborn Fetus Pregnant

February 12, 2008 at 7:37 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, The Jerk (satire)

(satire disclaimer) In a shocking development, it has been reported to the popular and always factual TMZ that the unborn fetus inside the belly of young child star Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.
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Letter From My Parents Who Don’t Understand the Concept of Fiction

February 11, 2008 at 1:18 pm · Filed under Featured, Humor, The Jerk (satire)

Dear Son,

It’s been a long time since we’ve written. We still don’t have a phone, so that’s why we haven’t called. As soon as I convince your father that the telephone has in fact been invented, you will be the first person I call. Please include your telephone address in your response. How are things going? I hope you are doing well. Your sister tells me that you are a writer now. How exciting! She mailed me some magazines with your articles in them. I must admit that your father and I were a bit concerned when we read about your latest invention son. “Old People Huts” designed to “house elderly family members when they become very ill or overly annoying” just seems a bit wrong Mark. After reading that, your father told me to unplug the phone as he was expecting the media to call and ask questions about you. I had to remind him that we don’t have a telephone.
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