Lucky for us, people actually get out of bed and go do things during the day. The horrible reality that we live in doesn’t seem to keep anyone down. In fact, even the most depressed, self loathing bastard gets out of their soiled bed to enjoy the random events society creates.
We know, just like everyone else, that this takes a lot of effort, and if there was only some way to take part without having to get out of bed, it might be the better way to go. That’s why the fine slave labor of CricketSoda.com works hard under the iron fist of a leather whip to bring you all the latest’s affairs and events, along with commentary on the world around us.
I usually try to not do it, but today I decided to write my ex-girlfriend a message on Myspace. I don’t really have feelings for her anymore, even though our breakup was a dramatic fireworks show, but every now and then I like to write and see how my life would have been had I not screwed things up.
Read more >>
It is amazing the amount of meat that comes off a chicken. It is almost like they were created to feed an entire family. They are like large meatballs covered in feathers that roam the hillside. While we are waiting for the meat to fatten, they produce eggs to hold us over, and make breakfast so special. Not to mention cakes, breads, pancakes, panbreads, and all those lovely things that wouldn’t be possible without eggs (shh vegans, I don’t dig the fake eggs).
Read more >>
Tonight we are having a guy’s night out, and I was curious to see what the guys out there really enjoyed doing once they got a little freedom. Do you still practice the old ‘He Man Woman Hater,’ doctrine? Or have the whippings gone so deep your poker table chit chat has turned into a rumor mill filled with many displays of pussy man blabber about flowers?
Read more >>
Valentines Day has become a powerful force not to be underestimated. It penetrates every aspect of life, lover or not, and there is no escaping the fact that tomorrow people everywhere are going to be making out and eating candy and fighting and getting candy breath and making out some more.
Read more >>
Diabetes costs you and me a lot of money. Forget the fact that I will have horrible complications and die early because the cure for my disease didn’t take precedence over the profit potential of keeping me sick and in need of expensive medication. Diabetes takes our standard of living down a notch each and every year, and no one seems to give a shit that they are losing all this money.
Read more >>
Subject: The rest of my life
From: Your FORMER corporate slave
Date: First day of the rest of my life!
To: FORMER captor (Tom in logistics)
They say that a man can only be so lucky, but I received the most important emails of my life today. Not only am I being personally requested to handle an $80,000,000 inheritance transaction for a cocoa/gold/oil farm widower from Congo, but I have been randomly selected out of over 500,000,000 emails to receive Norway’s biggest lump sum lottery prize of over $75,000,000,000,000. I’M RICH BIOTCH!
Read more >>
I went and refilled my insulin prescription today and ran into some really stressful news. Since it’s a new year, and prices need to be adjusted for inflation, I would have to pay $81.91 for my one month’s supply of Humalog Insulin Pens, and another $32.50 for my one month supply of Lantus Long Acting insulin.
Read more >>
Right down the street from our house is a little Shell gas station that I frequent. We live just far enough away from anything else that it is a pain to drive into town and we avoid it if we can. The station is all about convenience and doing as little as possible to get the drink you need so badly.
Read more >>
I remember, not to long ago, that a revolution was in the making. It seemed like that is all anyone could talk about. The time had come to make drastic changes to the way we live life, and the future would be bright because of it. Our apathy had worn off, and we had taken charge of our destiny. We were tired of being told that we were free, while we were so thirsty for a sip of pure freedom.
Read more >>
I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving this year. Recently, times have been a little hard and I don’t get to eat as much as I should, and I am looking forward to eating as much as I possibly can without getting sick. I feel like it is wrong though if you do all this thanking and don’t even realize what you are truly being thankful for.
Read more >>
Humor
Pop Substance
The Computer
Higher Quality
Affairs
The Column
Powered by WordPress
