I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving this year. Recently, times have been a little hard and I don’t get to eat as much as I should, and I am looking forward to eating as much as I possibly can without getting sick. I feel like it is wrong though if you do all this thanking and don’t even realize what you are truly being thankful for.
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I find it very hard to believe that Peyton Manning has fans. He can throw a dead pig to his blockhead homeboys and despite the fact I love Football more than my wife, that is a very fucking nugatory talent. I hate splitting hairs, but the point I’m trying to make is that this witless penisface crybaby needs to get the fuck out of my television. Take some lessons in tact from Sir Tom Brady, and stop using your “talent” to sell me stupid fucking credit card and cell phone bullshit. Watch this commercial:
Payton Manning at his most invidious worst.
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In my world the customer is always right, but it is all just an act to keep my perfect business rating. Especially in the Freelance marketplace, where the person best at selling themselves always seems to win even if they have no idea what they are doing. The man keeps me down like this, even though I am doing something I enjoy (which is more than most people), just because that is the way our new rating based society works. One mark against your record could hurt business, keep you from buying a car, and make you flunk school. All my customers are just people, individuals doing business, trying to accomplish something, but they have been conditioned by society.
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It is now being reported that there is a silent epidemic in this country. No, not the ignorance of the masses on presidential policy, but the danger that the elderly pose in the form of spreading AIDS. Even though their vaginas feel like ten year old Brillo pads and they smell like a mix of death and Geritol, the government is now spending untold amounts of money giving them AIDStests and condoms.
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Many guys out there are wondering how they can turn their girlfriends (or wives) into sluts or whores without pissing them off and making them leave you for your better looking, church going best friend. Here are five surefire ways to accomplish this.
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A recent trip to the airport sat me right in a mess of a certain type of people that I don’t run into very often. As soon as I stepped into the threshold of the airport I was surrounded by them, crazy people walking around talking to themselves. They appeared to be having full conversations, hand gestures and all. Even at the counter these people continued to talk to thin air, getting bad looks from the airline ticket agent.
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And proof is in the picture.
If the world were out to get you, I think they would have already.
Reaching the point of insanity that there is no turning back is something that can be both irritating and entertaining at the same time. Our former volunteer writer, who you will soon find out has reached said point, has requested that we remove her name from our website, and thusly will be called “Whoa Lanuh Chill Out,” for posterity’s sake.
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Public Service Needs to Remember Their Public Responsibility
On the way home from school today my friend ran into a large group of police officers investigating something on Fry St. Walking on the sidewalk she passed on woman officer, who rudely told her “Go Around.” This was not followed by a please, or an explanation, just a stern demand.
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I Lied! I really love sluts!
Advice from the family can be important, and since all my elders seem so wise, I am apt to adhere to it. Not to long ago I said that I hated sluts, and now looking back on that statement I was wrong. One of my more respectable elders made it very clear to me that this was a mistake and that I needed to do something to fix it or my happiness and well being would be at risk. The comment was made in a fit of anger and passion, and with my rational head I wish to retract that statement.
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