“I’m sorry,” I said, standing over her table as she ate shrimp cocktail, “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the restaurant.”
I never just walked up to someone famous and told them how much they meant to me.
“You’re Angela Lasbury, right? Of course you are.” Of course she was. Who could mistake the incomparable beauty of Angela Lansbury?
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In history there have been many displays of literary fortitude, yet few displays of sheer magnificence in that regard which transcend the reason of any discerning human. This my friends, is one of those displays.
The Exercise:
Describe a pottery class from the POV of the student, instructor and the clay.
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This week, CricketSoda begins an all new weekly feature titled West Creek Herald Personals. The town of West Creek is very unique, and it’s citizens need questionable sexual encounters, I mean, dates, just like the rest of us. So without further ado, I hereby present the first ever West Creek Herald Personals.
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Ok, so it took me a few hours to realize that part 2 wasn’t quite the literary masterpiece I expected. But fear not oh loyal fans! Because Mark Garrison is back with what IS in fact the finest piece of artwork ever manufactured by placing words together. Now this time, for the love of Jeezy Weezy Cheezy, you MUST mentally prepare yourself for the worlds most amazing work of art. I present to you, Part 3.
The Exercise:
Write an intriguing first line for a romance novel. Repeat the exercise, writing first lines for a mystery, horror, Western and a suspense story.
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It is now being reported that there is a silent epidemic in this country. No, not the ignorance of the masses on presidential policy, but the danger that the elderly pose in the form of spreading AIDS. Even though their vaginas feel like ten year old Brillo pads and they smell like a mix of death and Geritol, the government is now spending untold amounts of money giving them AIDStests and condoms.
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Many guys out there are wondering how they can turn their girlfriends (or wives) into sluts or whores without pissing them off and making them leave you for your better looking, church going best friend. Here are five surefire ways to accomplish this.
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I was searching for inspiration today, ok, so I was sitting on the toilet talking to myself since I didn’t have a magazine. Regardless of what I was doing at the time, something happened to me. I saw an image of Pat Sajak in one of the tiles on my bathroom floor. And this was no average Pat Sajak sighting either, he had his mouth partially open as if he wanted to speak to me. I quickly stopped talking to my penis and stared at Pat. I made sure the door was locked so that Pat and I would not be disturbed should he choose to start a conversation. Sure enough, right before I stood up to wash my hands, Pat spoke.
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Brandon is getting old, and soon, his mind will fail him. Music though, can save us all, and for Brandon’s longevity’s sake, I wrote him a little birthday diddy.
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Before Orange County auto repair shop owner Brandi Hertmen was sentenced to one year in a state prison on Monday for scamming clients, she told a judge that she’s really not that scheming cracker ass bitch that her victims make her out to be.
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The Upholsterer
Captain Ennui
Pretty Good Man
Thick Neck
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Humor
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