So lets celebrate with a fantastic party!
In order to get some hype and talk going about our party, I though I would let you guys in on a little info about hobos. Maybe this will help you come up with the ultimate hobo façade.
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It may be wonderful to look at, but I am in hair hell
When I got into high school I found fashion. I could wear something different to school to get different reactions from people. At the peak of my fashion experimentation I wore some huge black tents for pants. I could fit a person in each pant leg, and they were hot. It was the middle of summer, and my sister couldn’t understand why I would wear something like that.
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Sugar + Diabetics = Orgy
Cake…cake…cake! Hey cake! Our buddy Josh drove an hour to be with us for his 21st birthday, and the least we could do is make a creepy movie about our love for his birthday cake. It may have only been around for a few minutes before we managed to eat it, but the memory still remains strong.
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Local Band Rocks but Forgets to Roll
Local band Screaming Nectar Suckling Tits on Whore Street were criticized by many after their show last week were they left out the roll the entire show as a statement against domestic violence. Many patrons of the event said they didn’t care about domestic violence, because they were all 13 – 18 years old, and saved money all week just to be able to get in.
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Chicken Sandwich is hear to save the fucking day yeah!
Every so often we get the change to indulge in one of the finest foods known to man. Not only does it taste great, but it is filling, and 600% more healthy, according to us, than anything else we could have eaten.
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Books that suck also rock!
(satire disclaimer) A local group of Lesbian book readers who call themselves, The Book Divers, told an outside friend, that the club helps the members find fulfillment by reading “gay” books.
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Order your crossbow today and see it this week!
Every month or so in the mail we get a catalog that doesn’t belong to us, but of course, no one ever really complains about not getting a catalog so we keep it and use it to entertain ourselves. It’s called Cheaper Than Dirt, and it features almost everything you could ever need to survive in the jungle, all from military surplus. You can even buy guns, blow darts, cross bows, long range sights so you can pick off targets from over 500 feet away, and machine guns that could really impress your friends even though it is in 40 pieces.
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Bible Buddies are the Hip Cool New Thing
(satire disclaimer) When Roy and Samantha, two recent high school graduates aren’t working, they’re at home getting ‘closer to God,’ but not quite in the way that Trent originally intended.
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(satire disclaimer) : A planet that has orbited the same sun as we do, coming as close as Neptune to the sun during its orbit, has now been set free from being the other planets little bitch, and it now free to explore the universe as an official “Planet” of the United Solar System Planet Federation.
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Its a good by if you take into consideration the risks involved
(satire disclaimer) : After overdosing on “special” mushrooms local gang leader Rossy Mcrady decided that the life of pushing and eating illegal “special” mushrooms was meant for someone else to live. Mcrady says that his new life is in his new over the phone dating service.
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