I’m afraid you killed your last braincell with that paintchip you just ate.

The big question in life;

“What is the meaning of it all?” (more…)

The Great Move of 2006 is Upon Us!

It has been over a year since we moved into the house now known as “The CricketSoda House,” and after making our mark on the area it is time for us to pack up and move base. It has been a good year, filled with many great things, grand improvements, and more success that we have ever experienced. (more…)

It helps me get ready for the WKD so WTF. GG, L8R.

(satire disclaimer) San Antonio, TX - A new type of toilet paper has been introduced in the San Antonio school system with the hopes of foiling teen pregnancy. “KidBGone” brand bathroom tissue is being placed in all San Antonio area school restrooms. According to company spokesman David Kent who refused to be named, “KidBGone” bathroom tissue contains a large amount of “dried spermicide” which is moisture activated. (more…)

This year lets celebrate for all those who can’t

The argument has been made so many times, it doesn’t seem valid anymore. Time after time the whole thing has been pushed to the side, and held off again and again. Today though, when many people are celebrating their choice to smoke, the whole idea is high priority. Marijuana being illegal, and the negative effect these laws have on society as a whole has to stop. (more…)

Now 99.8% free of H5N1

(satire disclaimer) Atlanta, GA - Kentucky Fried Chicken announced today that they will be introducing a new “Bird Flu Free” fried chicken to the public to curb fears over Avian Flu. Since 1939, Colonel Sanders has given people all over the world Kentucky Fried Chicken, featuring that famous secret blend of herbs and spices. Since then, billions of people have come to love this unique chicken. However, with the world wide concern over bird flu, this fried chicken Goliath has to find new ways to bring in customers and keep the ones they have. (more…)

Public Service Needs to Remember Their Public Responsibility

On the way home from school today my friend ran into a large group of police officers investigating something on Fry St. Walking on the sidewalk she passed on woman officer, who rudely told her “Go Around.” This was not followed by a please, or an explanation, just a stern demand. (more…)

This is the story of one piggy bank, and a lot of trouble. Thank you to everyone who helped. Enjoy the show! (more…)

Bunnies all over the nation rejoice.

(satire disclaimer) Las Vegas, NV - The Nevada Bunny Ranch Corporation announced today new Bunny Ranch franchising opportunities in Arkansas. Entrepreneurs are being invited to review franchising contracts and become part of the Bunny Ranch Corp. family, which is the nation’s largest legal “sex for money” operation in the United States. (more…)

By: Levi Blackman, Brandon Brady, and Ryan Burkhardt

It was a nice warm day in spring so we decided it is time to whip out the old tools of the trade and start our CricketSoda Xtream sports season. We start off with our traditional sport, X.Golf, a sport of keen skill and light red marks all over your body.

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Massive Breasts Prove to be Hot New Charity Trend

(satire disclaimer) Austin, TX - On Sunday, the Mothers of Adopted Midgets society (MAM) of Austin will host their 5th annual “Boobies for a Cause” barbecue and boob-off. This years festivities will be held at Bartholomew District Park and run from Noon-Midnight. The event allows the mothers of adopted midgets from all over the area to come and show everyone their amazing breasts, and raise money for charity too. (more…)

It seems a little to late to do anything now though.

(satire disclaimer) Portland, OR - 28-year-old Davis McKinney never thought twice about his actions when he stepped foot into the doctors office. Now, this young man is having second thoughts about his decision to become a woman. (more…)