First round of tests complete.
(satire disclaimer) North Brunswick, NJ - A new advancement in contraception has men everywhere singing praises like a Pentecostal preacher on meth. Doctors at the Male Penile Enhancement and Pregnancy Prevention Institute are in the process of completing their first round of tests on a male birth control device.
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If you walk around town you are going to see one. They are everywhere, and unless you stare at the ground as you walk (you might see one anyway), you will see one. Aldous stickers can be seen on garbage cans, street signs, buildings, and many other odd places.
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Tips and suggestions that will save your life
We really care about you, and want you to live a long happy safe like. That is why we have put together this list of general rules of thumb that will help you get through your daily struggle.
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Continuing the Tradition
By: Levi Blackman : We are starting a new tradition in Denton. For a long time people used to gather on Fry Street for a community drum circle. Anyone who wanted to come was welcome, and everyone gathered in a huge circle with all types of instruments on the lawn in front of the Language building. This was great, but the people at the university didn’t agree, and a lot of trouble started.
So we are going to do it in our front yard where nobody can say anything. You should come and bring all your friends some Sunday night when it is cool and you see us jamming out on the front yard and join in on the fun.
As you can see, we support anyone bringing any type of instrument they would like to bring. The night pictured above rocked and we played until past midnight. Police cars rolled by us all night, but they didn’t seem to mind the banging of the drums.
THEY HAVE ARRIVED! Get yours HERE!
It has been a long time.
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Pillows now #78493 killer in North America
(satire disclaimer) Mansfield, TX - The scene yesterday at the worlds largest pillow fight turned sour when one of the contestants used a pillow filled with cue balls to earn an advantage. After six people ended up randomly dead in a bath of blood and feathers, the promotional pillow fight was raided by police and every pillow case was searched until the balls were found.
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Chunks of Meat are so Sweet to Eat
She looked at me from across the bar, and so I made my way over, trying to look as cool as possible, using all the latest neat walks I could think of. I chose a topic to introduce myself with, pulled my long hair over the stain on my dirty shirt, and took a seat next to her.
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In Apparent MySpace Bulletin Disaster
(satire disclaimer) Sarasota, FL - 23 year old Robert Mingle awoke this morning to some shocking discoveries. And he blames them all on MySpace. MySpace.com, a popular social networking website, allows users to send out bulletins to their friends. And it’s these bulletin’s, that he refused to re-post to his own friends, that have apparently destroyed this man’s life.
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The Special Stripper Stank is a think of the Past
(satire disclaimer) San Antonio, TX - A new scent removal product hitting store shelves this summer is sure to strike fear in the hearts of wives everywhere. New “StripperBGone” spray by the makers of Febreze promises to remove the conspicuous odors left on a man after visiting a strip club.
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54,000 people either died or were killed as a result of lack of public safety
(satire disclaimer) Los Angeles, CA - An attempt to shine light on the importance of police, firefighters, and doctors turned out not to be such a good idea after 54,000 people either died or were killed as a result of lack of public safety services yesterday.
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