Home sweet home
The creative juices are running high, the spirits are even higher, and for the first time in more than a year, I feel like I can breathe without having to worry about mold in the air that will eventually kill me.
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When I first heard about it I didn’t really think much about it because it seemed like a far fetched idea, and that people were just trying to spread paranoid propaganda about the ending of the world. After a while, and even more so recently, I have been hearing it on a daily basis, and I feel like some truth exists behind it, especially after The New Yorker, and many other creditable news sources have pointed it out as a problem.
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Humping show didn’t catch an audience like first suspected.
(satire disclaimer)A new TV series hoping to cash in on the success of such amazing shows such as dancing with the stars and skating with celebrities has been abruptly canceled. “Dry Humping With Broadway Performers” had been given a top evening spot on the UPN network.
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If the world were out to get you, I think they would have already.
Reaching the point of insanity that there is no turning back is something that can be both irritating and entertaining at the same time. Our former volunteer writer, who you will soon find out has reached said point, has requested that we remove her name from our website, and thusly will be called “Whoa Lanuh Chill Out,” for posterity’s sake.
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Actual people in real life reportedly lame.
(satire disclaimer) Myspace has become a popular phenomenon, but another trend is started to arise that is worrying normal everyday citizens just trying to build mutually beneficial relationships with actual cool people. People who are actually lame are looking really cool by spending countless hours working on their Myspace profiles, getting their pictures just right, and reading books on how to be cool on Myspace. This is confusing the “normals” and making for a hard time in their daily lives.
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I’m afraid you killed your last braincell with that paintchip you just ate.
The big question in life;
“What is the meaning of it all?”
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The Great Move of 2006 is Upon Us!
It has been over a year since we moved into the house now known as “The CricketSoda House,” and after making our mark on the area it is time for us to pack up and move base. It has been a good year, filled with many great things, grand improvements, and more success that we have ever experienced.
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It helps me get ready for the WKD so WTF. GG, L8R.
(satire disclaimer) San Antonio, TX - A new type of toilet paper has been introduced in the San Antonio school system with the hopes of foiling teen pregnancy. “KidBGone” brand bathroom tissue is being placed in all San Antonio area school restrooms. According to company spokesman David Kent who refused to be named, “KidBGone” bathroom tissue contains a large amount of “dried spermicide” which is moisture activated.
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This year lets celebrate for all those who can’t
The argument has been made so many times, it doesn’t seem valid anymore. Time after time the whole thing has been pushed to the side, and held off again and again. Today though, when many people are celebrating their choice to smoke, the whole idea is high priority. Marijuana being illegal, and the negative effect these laws have on society as a whole has to stop.
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Now 99.8% free of H5N1
(satire disclaimer) Atlanta, GA - Kentucky Fried Chicken announced today that they will be introducing a new “Bird Flu Free” fried chicken to the public to curb fears over Avian Flu. Since 1939, Colonel Sanders has given people all over the world Kentucky Fried Chicken, featuring that famous secret blend of herbs and spices. Since then, billions of people have come to love this unique chicken. However, with the world wide concern over bird flu, this fried chicken Goliath has to find new ways to bring in customers and keep the ones they have.
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