In a disaster on the scale of eating Ton’s Mongolian Grill followed by bar food cheese sticks and shots of golden Cuervo, local man Roger McThompson was supposedly threatened by a group of Aliens calling themselves “The Thors”.

It apparently all started with a mistranslated message written in the dirt of McThompsons 98′ Turbo Traveler Van. What was intended to say “You’re dead at midnight,” actually read “Wash Me.” McThompson innocently blamed his wife for the “loving” message, an ended up dying without warning.

The Crew of Alien Thugs

Panic spread throughout the city. The masses rushed to get their cars clean, and a local car wash had a two hour wait with a line of cars down the street. The cities water pressure drooped to levels unseen since the Roman aqueduct days. Soap prices jumped more than 15%.

“I’m pretty sure it was my kids, but you can never be sure. I mean, there are like 15 different “Wash Me” things on the back of my car,” local car driver Ron Mchphereason said. “I mean, I have to be careful, it would be easy to slip a “Wash Me” death message on my car, and I would never know.”

The aliens say it was all just a big misunderstanding, and that the widespread panic is silly. According to alien officials, the party involved was just doing their job, and that only one person died, which is great considering past missions.

“It was all an accident.” Alien ring leader Eckmenn Hazoffli said. “He was really going to have some idea about his death. I mean, that is the way we do things around here. We like to give the victim the chance to fight back. It allows us to work out our super alien exoskeleton system, something pathetic earthlings will never understand!”

Allthough panic was widespread throughout most of the city, McThompson’s death has been welcomed by the community he live in, and even with the huge mistake the aliens made, they have become heroes to the regular locals.

“Well you know, I am an old woman, and I needed someone to take care of the yard.” Rita Bo McBitda, a local homeowner said. “I got Roger to come over, but instead of doing the yard like I told him too, he finished about half of it and then disappeared. I found him passed out in the tool shed with this white power all over his face. He started calling my father and then ran away in a panic. I never did get a refund for the yard, so praise Jesus for doing his damn job.”

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