According to events that happened the last few times I went to the bar, drunk women think I am much more funny than sober women. Women who became drunk while with me at the bar liked me more after a few drinks, and laughed a lot more at my stupid jokes the more drunk they got. This leads me and my coherts to believe that I have a drunk women power, and should at all times be surrounded by drunk women.

Our study used 15 different girls ranging in age from 21 - 25, from blonde to redhead. Most girls started off pretty drunk, but we threw in a few sober ladies to make sure our study was fair. The girls took an average of four drinks before they really thought I was funny, with a few giggles here and there around 2 drinks.

After about 6 drinks most of the women were too drunk to laugh anymore, and failed to even hear and understand most of the jokes I was trying to tell them.

Overall the results clearly point to the fact that I need drunk women around to be funny. More details will be released as the data is analyzed.

I found this image of a cat fixing a truck today. It is amazing what people can train their pets to do these days.

They don’t call is a CATalytic converter for no reason.

A study released today by The Internet Foundation of Internet Like Arts found that the You Tube comment reader designed to let people hear their comment read aloud so they don’t post something that sounds stupid, actually makes idiots feel depressed. Some idiots report feelings of isolation, and almost 75% stopped posting YouTube comments all [...]

The Onion created some really great stuff for the election, one of my favorites being their video of the DRE 700 voting machine winning the presidencial election by a landslide. Watch the video all the way through, they save the best for last.

Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President

Don’t host your videos on a video site that no one will see. Submit your video to The Jerk and let thousands laugh out loud at your amazing create. To submit a video follow these easy steps:
1. Create your video
2. Go to 0sys.com and sign up for an account
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Sometimes when a virus strikes your computer it is annoying. Sometimes it makes you want to throw your computer out the window. Monotoko over at the Battleon.com forums has a virus that involved Miley Cyrus. Someone please help this guy out: http://forums2.battleon.com/f/tm.asp?m=1502464.

(satire disclaimer) According to a new report unemployment is at a new 14 year high, but for local father Greggie Durang this is a positive change in his life. Now, without a job, he can focus on his favorite pastime, getting as drunk as possible before noon.
Durang lost his job a few months ago and [...]

Megloplexia, TX/MEX - Local man Larry who lost his job last summer used to complain about the economy down at Rocko’s Pub on 5th and Lane street but after a stunning announcement last night by his three month girlfriend that she had missed her period for the first time in her life.
According to Larry, the [...]

A new tool was launch on the internet today that lets you grow Obama a nice big fro. A slider lets you control the size of the fro, and the print screen button give you a image to send along with your letter to the new president of the united states demanding that he grow [...]

The biggest UFO you have ever seen flew out of John McCain’s vagina as he lost the election. Several witnesses say the UFO was much to large to have fit where it flew out of and still don’t understand how it is possible. After the event, McCain looked stunned, and keep saying, “Were am I? [...]

Was There Too Much Sex And Profanity In The HBO Presidential Debate?
I posted this video from The Onion mainly for the Steve Buscemi line.

In a study run by the Hot Adults for Kinky Fetishes Association attractive adults with foot fetishes are prone to depression when their own feet stink. Seven adults were forced to wear their shoes with no socks for six days straight. They could only remove their shoes for showers, and they had to promise not [...]

In a stunning turn of events local man George Mchallowitts nose exploded with hair, with reports saying bushyness up a full 45% thicker, and length up to a half inch in many places. Now girlfriend Lisa Mayeb is planning drastic moves so they they may return to the public and “actually go out places since [...]

And a instant classic is born.

This is a really bad idea, and you shouldn’t try this at home.

Since you are starting a blog you probably have some goals you wish to accomplish with your blog. This is a good thing, and will help you stay motivated and focused on making your blog the very best it can be. But with a blog, comes many goals, be it making money, getting read by [...]

Wordpress is great in that it lets you create your own Wordpress theme from scratch with relatively little effort. If you really want your theme to harness all of the power of Wordpress, you need to do a few things. One of the most important being making your theme able to use Wordpress Widgets.
It is [...]