Since her recent run in with a shaver, Spears has been crowned “queen of the balding” by many media outlets and America in general. Even popular news sources have started using her picture as a stock image for any news story having to do with bald men, the cures for balding, and shiny heads.

Google News, numerous local news stations, several newspapers, and endless online blogs have started this standard and say they are sticking to it.

“Hey, it’s funny. The people love it.” online blog king Melro Ukinistik said. “Bald Britney sells, and thats what I am in it for.”

Spears fail to return our phone calls, but rumor has it that this may be part of a big stunt to promote her new non-solo album, “Bald Spot,” in which she is singing lead along with Jamie Bell from Catch 22, Matt Goldman from the Blue Man Group, and Steve Marker from Garbage.

“If it does happen it is going to be Britney’s first time trying to headline something where she isn’t just the main bitch. I mean, it will take a few nights just to get her to understand why her name isn’t in the title of the band.” Celebrity Professor Cynthia Heavyfoot said. “It is going to be a big change for her, not as big as bald, but this might just be the biggest success of her career.”

Man fans are just happy to see Britney in the lime light.

“On the news today they started talking about these new ways to grow hair, and the whole time they showed a picture of Britney!” long time fan Kate Lynn Wrinkleburger said. “I know she doesn’t really look like a superstar all bald and everything, but in my heart, I know who she is.”

Bald men seem to think that even though it seems to make light of their personal hair problems, having someone with such “banging” tits being the mascot for their cause will probably be a good thing overall.

“I mean damn, I don’t care if she has hair or not. I would tap it so fast, my head would wax itself.” severally bald man Joe Mcblow said. “I think it will be good for us. Let the women know that hey, we can get banging babes too even if we don’t have and hair and our head gets sunburned all the time.”

Will Britney get royalties off recent stem cell research that will end balding? Only time will tell.

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