54,000 people either died or were killed as a result of lack of public safety

(satire disclaimer) Los Angeles, CA - An attempt to shine light on the importance of police, firefighters, and doctors turned out not to be such a good idea after 54,000 people either died or were killed as a result of lack of public safety services yesterday.

The Los Angeles Public Safety System, which includes over 35,000 police officers, firefighters and doctors, got the idea for the day long protest from the recent “Day Without Immigrants”.

“We really wanted to show the community and community leaders just how important we are to this city. We didn’t realize so many people would perish due to our decision” said L.A. Public Safety System spokesman Larry Whitfield.

As soon as the media broadcast the fact that there would be no police or fire service in the city due to the boycott, massive looting broke out in the downtown area.

Artist Rendition of the Event (by Ryan Newhaven Age 8 )

Over 4,000 people were shot to death in a 5 hour period alone and more than 3,700 fires raged across the city as arsonists seemed to bask in the glory of a day without firefighters. One arsonist who we spoke with told us he had just destroyed a 5 story apartment complex with some 250 residents inside and was on his way to burn down 5 day care centers loaded with children and a homeless shelter.

In local hospitals, over 14,000 patients died as a result of lack of care. L.A. Doctors Union President Jack Dewhit said, “Maybe we didn’t think this thing through. It’s possible that our decision may have led to these peoples deaths, and for that, our insurance will truly skyrocket.” Hospital patients were seen diving out of first story windows in an attempt to end their suffering. Many were unsuccessful.

Next years planned “Day Without Public Safety Personnel” has been replaced with a scheduled “Day Without Soccer Moms”.

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