Brad was severely retarded but he could melt lead with fiery laser beams that shot out of his eyes. He was called Fire Wheels because he was in a wheelchair. He was pretty limited to what he could do because he was retarded but he could melt lead. LEAD!

How did Brad, of Bakersfield, California, become a super hero? When he was put into a tube at the hospital to get a full X-ray of his body when he was a youngster and it short circuited and blew up and he got super human eye beam melting strength. He was also hoping he’d be able to walk and not be retarded but that didn’t work out.

When he was in school, motoring down the locker bays to biology class, a footballer would make some rude comment about his retardation. Brad would then melt off the guy’s letterman’s jacket. When he was at the mall enjoying an Orange Julius and the woman serving him gave him a pitiful look like she was felt sorry for him being retarded, he’d melt the juice squeezer to nothing. When he didn’t want his dad to give him a sponge bath he’d melt the lock on the garage, leaving his dad out there with the leaf blower that didn’t work.

He decided, after pulling pranks on practically everyone, to use his fire laser melty eyes for good and became a security guard at the nearby strip mall. He’d wheel around and yell at loafers and shoplifters. He’d say, “Mmgaw!” and they’d run away. And if the shoplifter had something, like a sweatshirt or a pair of Levi’s, Brad would use his laser melty eyes, set to low grade, and melt the shoplifter’s shoes to the pavement so they couldn’t move. “Mmgaw!” Brad would say wheeling up next to them awaiting back up.

He soon became promoted to become his own auxiliary police force for the city of Bakersfield. He caught car thieves and bandits, burglars and miscreants, zooming down sidewalks yelling, “Wwwnngaa!” or “Frennaay!” and shooting them with his laser melt fire eyes.

It was Tuesday night, after he was on the front page of the paper by nabbing a bank robber by melting dimes and quarters in his hands, forming a hot gooey set of handcuffs, that he got the phone call. “Swzza?” he said.

“Hello, Brad? This is Batman. We’d like you to join the Justice League of America. See you there tomorrow at nine.”

He was so excited but he wasn’t there on time. The Justice League of America wasn’t handicap friendly and he couldn’t get his wheelchair up the front steps. He cried and his eyes steamed.