Manifesto of sorts released to the world!

(satire disclaimer) Austin, TX - Gay and lesbian sock monkeys released a manifesto of sorts to the International Commission on AIDS demanding attention to the “continuous discrimination and shunning” of homosexual sock monkeys and same gender sock monkey relationships in the fight against AIDS and other genital diseases.

The manifesto, titled “Stop Socking the Sock Monkeys”, was provided to world wide AIDS Control Programs, and to leaders of the human race. One of the groups main demands was a call for the end of the denial of treatment and services to same gender sock monkey lovers. The manifesto was signed by members of organizations such as American SockMonkey Society (A.S.S.), the Coalition of Comfortable Knitted Socks (C.O.C.K.S.). Sock Monkey Lovers (S.M.L.), and Homosexual Sock Monkeys of America (H.S.M.O.A.). The manifesto included the following statements:

“We are extremely disturbed by the lack of HIV transmission and prevention information specifically designed for sock monkeys. We want to commit to safer sex practices and therefore demand the proper prevention materials. We want sock monkey specific info, mouth condoms, cotton based lubricants and sex gloves. We demand access to HIV treatment and education that the human race has continually refused to provide to our members.”

Denying sock monkeys these basic rights is denying our place in society. It is denying us our inherent right to dignity as a sock monkey family. We are an integral part of this world and should be afforded the same basic rights as humans are.”

Funding for this campaign comes from many famous and formerly famous sock monkeys as well as the entire cast of Sesame Street. While the Sesame Street cast members are not considered sock monkeys, they still wanted to show support for their close cousins. “This is the absolute least we can do”, says Sesame Street character, Cookie Monster”. “These guys have stepped up to the plate for us several times like back when news of Bert and Ernie’s gay relationship was released to the world, we are happy to help” summed up Cookie Monster.

For more information and a copy of the declaration, contact your local C.O.C.K.S. establishment.

The International Gay and Lesbian Sock Monkey Commission is a sock monkey rights organization created for the sole purpose of improving homosexual sock monkey’s rights in the world. Come to think of it, it is the only sock monkey rights organization anywhere.

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