And not sell your soul to the devil

Today the plastics industry is one of the most profitable for business men and women who partake in the trade. Made from dinosaurs and other like material, plastics help people daily with tasks that would be impossible without them.

Fast food joints use plastics to preserve their food. A lettuce leaf made of plastics and flavored with ultra cool oil flavor technology will never go bad, and can be stored at room temperature saving energy costs.

Hospitals use plastics everyday to save lives and strap people down while they steal parts for the fixer upper down the hall. Doctors also use plastic to store drugs! Lots of drugs!

Plastics have many uses in our modern world, and you, being the smart ambitious individual that you are, can take advantage of this for personal profit! Yes, you too can make money, and not have to steal to feed yourself. No more sneaking donuts in your pants at the grocery store! No more mugging the elderly to feed your kids so your wife doesn’t leave you! Plastics can bring you a whole new life!

The first step in getting into the plastic industry is to survey a field. You must first find a field that looks nice, with trees and grass, and then destroy the whole thing with bulldozers, and build a huge dino material well thing.

Once you have your well you suck up all the dino material and stick it in a refinery. The refinery specialist turns the dino stuff into plastic, which you can take home to your garage and shape into anything you wish.

One of the many products you can make for the children!

This costs you little if anything and the United States government will often provide assistance for people who can afford fields and bulldozers. Contact your senator for more information.

Once you have created your product you are halfway to becoming a super star in the modern global economy. The next step in your legacy building adventure is to submit the product to companies that might be interested in buying it. People hate solicitors, and will most likely call the police if you try to approach them, but business are run by an invisible “big brother” type thing, and you can sell them pretty much anything, as long as it is cheap and bad for the consumer.

The bigger the corporation, the greater chance for success in the foot in mouth corruption protocol. If you can find someone corrupt, you can make a lot of money.

Now that I have told you all this I have a favor to ask. Please don’t tell anyone this because it will make the market unstable if everyone is rich off plastics. This is a secret my father told me so I never have to go hungry, and I felt I would do someone in this world a favor by sharing it.

Go out enlightened reader and spread your empire goop all over the world. Let your name be heard, and lets change everyone’s life for the better, except people who eat at fast food restaurants.

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