Chunks of Meat are so Sweet to Eat

She looked at me from across the bar, and so I made my way over, trying to look as cool as possible, using all the latest neat walks I could think of. I chose a topic to introduce myself with, pulled my long hair over the stain on my dirty shirt, and took a seat next to her.

“So I thinking today, wouldn’t it be neat if everyone died and the planet was left to just you and me?” I said looking at erupting zit I hadn’t noticed until it was too late.

“Umm..what?” she said. I suddenly felt stupid as I realized what I had said. I tried to recover.

“You look lonely and I thought I would come keep you company.” I said, playing it safe with such a generic comment.

“I’m just here delivering sausage for their pizza. See the nametag?” she said. I didn’t see anything but the shame and humiliation of yet another rejection.

Hmm…thats a new turn down. At least she was creative about it. I turned around and I promptly tripped on a bar stool and got a new stain on my shirt. This time I think it was a mix of beer and the dirt from people’s shoes. Or at least I hope it was, it was a bar after all.

So to recover, taking heed to the strangers creative genius I made the classic Italian sausage and noodles and stuff just like my dad used to make and now I can barely move. I have lost any motivation to be productive today and I have decided to enjoy my day full and on the couch.

Yummmm…

It is as easy to make as macaroni and cheese. The grocery store has everything you need packaged and neat, ready to go. The Italian sausage comes in a package labeled Italian sausage. In this package are fingers of carefully seasoned pork you can throw in any pan of grill. They explode with flavor and a aroma and makes even the devout vegetarian hunger.

If you could afford to eat only sausage you might, but the noodles and stuff really add something to the meaty paradise islands floating in the delicate sauces. A sauce with many spices and Italian herbs that can make even the most used whore cum with more wild passion than she has seen in years.

Then, after you have spent your time in front of a plate of steaming hot food, taking extra care to twist the noddles into perfect pods with a chunk of sausage at the end of your fork, the glue holding the whole package together, your stomach stretches and you feel a wave of pleasure take over your body.

If you are anything like me, all the blood from you body travels straight to your stomach to absorb the nutrients, and you lose the will to move. The couch beings to swallow you and you could sleep for days.

So with my saber of trends, my deeming stick, from my permanent position on the couch, I deem Italian Sausage with Noodles and Stuff IT! For the time being. So with your boiling pot of water and wooden spoon, fine reader of CricketSoda, create, create, create.

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