Rockinton, GA - (satire disclaimer) Working late to finish up a project, employees of Smith, Smith, and John Interactive faced a disaster that promised to ruin the hard work of many. Fried egg sandwiches, with bacon and cheese, (on sourdough) delivered to the late night warriors caused extreme cramping. Soon, the only toilet in the building was clogged beyond repair, and the closed church across the street was the only option.

Police arrived to find four employees screaming at the front door of the church, while two others on the inside held the front door closed. Another man was found in the womans rest room. The three inside the church went to jail for breaking and entering, while the others outside ran away when a officer fired a taser in the air. According to the pastor of the church, the womans toilet will have to be replaced.

“We are usually open doors to everyone.” Pastor John Yum said. “We love all of gods creations. What happened last night in that toilet was from the devil himself. When our overnight janitor called me and told me what was happening, I knew the devil was trying to take down our house of worship. I did what any good poop fearing Christian would do, and called the police.”

Employees claim that the worst night of work ever got worse when the police got involved.

“I was already pissed off that we had to stay late. Then Susan tries to kiss everyone’s ass by bringing in these sandwiches. I mean, they were fantastic, but about 30 minutes after we had all finished eat, hell broke loose.” Matt Kindom, Senior Executive to the Masses, said. “Bill from accounting was the first to go. He turned bright red, and ran out of the room without saying anything. He comes back, the toilet is broken, and people started to panic.”

The manager in charge described the scene.

“One of our dear product designers Lilly ran out of the room, screaming, ‘I don’t think I can make it all the way to my house!’ She took off and we haven’t seen her since.” Rick Steven Bah Bla, the Manager, said. “People started looking to trash cans as an emergency backup. Then, someone had the idea that the church across the way might have a toilet. With that said everyone filed out. I didn’t eat any of the sandwiches because I hate bacon, so I was fine, but ahh, yeah. This company will never be the same.”

Amy McNugompson, one of the three inside, blames manager Bah Bla for the incident.

“I have no idea what was going through his stupid little head, but I know this is all his fault.” Mcnugompson said. “This was a punishment for having a stay late. How productive are we now in jail? I know you did it Bah Bla! You broke the toilet, you put something in our food…worst boss ever!”

When confronted with the allegation, Bah Bla denies everything.

“Amy likes to come up with these crazy theories, I mean, come on, like I would ever..” Bah Bla said.

Company excutives declined comment, but stated in a press release that Fried egg sandwiches are banned at Smith, Smith, and John Interactive after 5 PM, which according to them, will solve the problem.