Puzzle Pirates Ate My Soul Today
And some guy with a beard stole all my booty!

By: Levi Blackman : You never know when it might strike, and you don't even see it coming until it is to late to do anything about it. A friend might tell you about it, or you might just be browsing a long list of games, and you innocently download it looking for something to fill the time on a Saturday night while you are waiting for all your friends to get ready. It loads and you sign up for a username, and all the sudden, you are a pirate, and you don't want to do anything else except be a pirate, and play puzzles for booty, and steal other people's booty by beating them at a puzzle.

In Puzzle Pirates, you create a pirate and go around a virtual world fighting other pirates and doing different things with puzzle. Do well in the puzzle and you do well doing what ever it is. You can bet pieces of eight against each other in swordfights, drinking games, and many others. Tournaments are held, and the game can get pretty intense with gold being hard to earn, and swordfights with all your booty on the line.

Me Losing at Puzzle Pirates

You can also make your pirate look super cool by collecting different articles of clothing. You can improve your chances of winning by upgrading your sword and winning matches. Your rank as a pirate increases with every win, and is displayed proudly below your name in every game and tournament for everyone to see.

The whole idea engrosses you, and you sit and stare at the screen, trying to get all the colors together, even while your room is full of people trying to talk to you.

"What are you playing?" they ask.

"Puzzle Pirates!" you exclaim, and they give you a funny look before returning to more serious matters with your other friends. You don't care though, and because of your fast fingers, you just won 35,000 booty. Time for an extreme high stakes tournament.

The tale of my first pirate, the pirate that I am most proud of, starts on a tiny dot of land in the middle of the ocean called Lima Island. I quickly found myself rich with gold after winning a tournament, so I hit up all the inns around and bet people money. Losing all my money and complaining to the locals about my gambling problem, I set for the sea and join the Navy.

The Navy promised to pay well and I was excited that I would get the chance to sail the sea, but they didn't pay as well as I hoped they would, and only made up for it by giving me things like shirts and bandanas when what I really needed was a new gold hook. So I quit the Navy and met with a man at a bar who gave me a job aboard his ship.

This is where the game gets really interesting. Out on the open sea, once you play the game enough and get a badge that allows you to do so, you can command your own pirate ship. You hire pirates to do all the jobs that have to be done on the ship and fight other pirates on other ships. Then you stock up on supplies and head to sea. Sailing around you run into other pirates and you shoot cannons at them, and then attack and depending how many people you have in your crew, how well equipped they are, what their rank is, and how well you did shooting cannons at them, you win either an advantage or a disadvantage when you sword fight using a Tetras type puzzle. The winner steals a bunch of booty and celebrates with a yar har har yo ho ho.

Horrible news struck Puzzle Pirates like a hurricane not to long ago though when they made a major update. They added a new feature to allow you to have a shack you can stock with stuff and host parties in, and other seemingly cool activities. The problem is this new feature is a heavy load for the server making it hard to log on, and making play sluggish at times.

The news is a pretty big deal, and the only thing we can do is hope that the game will survive long enough to upgrade servers. Perhaps the people that leave because of the crowed will free us some resources for those of us willing to wait out the storm.

The game is supported by people paying for a pirate currency called Doubloons. With these special coins you can purchase other features of the game, and make your pirate better. They are fairly cheap and easy to get, but it can be frustrating trying to buy clothes, spending a ton of money, and not being able to pick them up because you need two doubloons.

The day is only so long, and at times you have to log off, leaving your pirate in limbo amongst the many others in the world of electrons. Perhaps more booty will come your way while you sleep or eat, but the empty space where your soul used to be seems to be getting bigger, and you have to wonder if all that fake money was worth it.

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