Says Will Give Him the Chance to Be Poor

A local man who wants to be called “Robbie,” said today to news reporters that it is not a bad thing that he lost his job, and that this will provide the opportunity to be poor as “shit.” His wife and friends are skeptical of his plan, and fear that his happiness will be followed by an extreme depression after his new expensive car and two-story house are repossessed.

Lots of people lose their jobs; Robbie says, “why not live a little?”

“I think this is a great change for me,” Robbie said. “It gives me the chance to see what it is like for the poverty stricken of this country. I think it will be a great learning experience for me, and make me appreciate the good things in life more.”

His wife hasn’t threatened to leave Robbie yet, but she fears that their relationship will crumble if this lasts.

“I tried to convince him that he should do something to support us. At least he should get unemployment or something.” Robbie’s wife said. “I am not going to let my car be repossessed. I need it. He is going to have to snap out of this or else.”

His friends are worried to, and say that he has never acted so strange.

“It’s almost like the guy is in some sort of mid life crisis or something.” Don Regal, an old high school buddy of Robbie’s said. “I don’t see him snapping out of it. I see him getting a job at the mall, buying a really expensive sports car on his good credit. Fucking it all up and ending up losing everything. Wife, cars, house, life. Everything. I wish I could so something, but you know, I’m busy. Got a lot of things going on. Plus, what would I say to him anyways, you know?”

The local property managers have already started sending in bids to maintain Robbie’s house after the bank takes it from him. They say the bushes are extra high, and the house has wall damage in the back. It will be a great job that pays well.

		Save This Page