It seems a little to late to do anything now though.

(satire disclaimer) Portland, OR - 28-year-old Davis McKinney never thought twice about his actions when he stepped foot into the doctors office. Now, this young man is having second thoughts about his decision to become a woman.

Before the operation Davis was having trouble accepting the fact that he did not have a vagina, “All my life, I have always felt like I was the wrong gender. Every time I would watch a Disney movie, I would start crying. I knew this wasn’t normal.” Since a young age, Davis dressed in women’s panties everywhere he went and secretly sat down every time he had to urinate. “It was just natural to me. All of my friends were like, why is this guy taking so many dumps? But I was just taking a leak.”

Davis first told his parents of his feelings on his 18th birthday when his mother bought him a rubber vagina. “I just had to find out,” said Davis’s mother, Janice. “All of his life he never brought a girl home. All of his life he never asked to borrow my condoms. I knew something wasn’t right so I decided to see what his reaction would be when I bought him a sex toy.” Janice says that when her son opened the box and found the item, he immediately started crying and told his parents everything.

Davis took a job as a bagger for a local grocery store in order to pay for his operation. “I knew what he was working for and I supported him all the way” said Davis’s former boss who asked not to be identified. “He was a great worker in everything he did, I really wanted him to get this surgery,” Davis’s former boss stated with a strange grin on his face. Davis worked just 5 days to save up the money for his operation.

Davis received his sexual gender transformational surgical procedure at the age of 23. “It took some convincing but the doctors eventually let me have the surgery.” Now, five years later, Davis is starting to secretly miss his penis. “I don’t know what it is. Every time I see my vagina I am starting to wish there was a penis there. One time when I was really drunk I tried to turn my vagina inside out to make it a penis again but it didn’t really work.”

Now, every time that Davis hears his friends and family talking about their penis’s, he says he gets a strange feeling between his legs. “It’s kind of like something is trying to grow there. Like something wants to come out. One time I duck taped a hot dog and two kiwis to my vagina just so I could feel like a man again.”

But the signs that Davis wants to turn his gender around aren’t only sexual. “One time I was watching a football game and I started grunting at the referees. I’ve never grunted in my life. Oh, and my breasts are shrinking too” says Davis. We will follow Mr. Davis McKinney’s progress on his seemingly never ending path of gender uncertainty.

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