Denton – Michelle Mashburn, 23, a pirate wrench whore, passed away from studentdom, at the University of North Texas on December 15, 2007. Family surrounded her as she peacefully went with her Lord to a new exciting world of master degrees and careers.

Ms. Mashburn was born in Abilene, and now has a Journalism/Spanish degree with high flying honers. (to those of you without degrees, that means summa cum laude laude cum summa da.) That means she must now leave us to conquer the planet. Sorry.

Services will be held at 10 a.m. Tuesday, December 20, at the Blackman-Brady-Cuellar-Rinkenberger residence with the “were not worthy” ceremony following shortly after.

She’s a babe. She’s magically babelicious. She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.

Left behind to cherish her memory are her lover, Levi “poofy head” Blackman of Mansfield; lover Crissy Cuellar, of Brownsville; lover Brandon Brady, lover Mark Schnider; lover Brista Hurst, lover Jodi Yorke, many other lovers, brothers and numerous nieces and nephews.

To anyone looking to hire a very talented bilingual badass, please see Michelle. You will not be disappointed, unless you pay her less than she is worth.

Congratulations Michelle. Out of all of us you were always the one with the bright future, and the willpower to conquer all. I didn’t think it was possible, that someone could come out of all the bull we went through and actually make something of themselves. You proved me wrong, and through our slew of third world apartments, and meal after meal of giveaways, you proved to the world that anything is possible.

We are so proud of you, as proud as we could possibly be. If it is okay, I would like to borrow your degree sometime. I need a job and the freshmen girls love a smart ass working on his masters. Oh, and please don’t mind my horrible grammar. I know you are all smart now, but please try not to judge.

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