Bunnies all over the nation rejoice.

(satire disclaimer) Las Vegas, NV - The Nevada Bunny Ranch Corporation announced today new Bunny Ranch franchising opportunities in Arkansas. Entrepreneurs are being invited to review franchising contracts and become part of the Bunny Ranch Corp. family, which is the nation’s largest legal “sex for money” operation in the United States.

The Nevada Bunny Ranch Corp., best known for its fine selection of porn stars and playmate quality ladies was founded on the belief that everyone has a right to get laid. Popular with both business and leisure visitors, the Nevada Bunny Ranch Corp. hopes to eventually place franchises strategically throughout the United States.

“Our findings are that Arkansas is a prime spot for our first of many locations due to the amount of horny hobos, drunk folk and undersexed farmers” said Ben Meade, President of Nevada Bunny Ranch Corp. R&D. “Arkansas also offers a very scenic environment for our employees and clients as well. One section of the Arkansas franchise will allow clients to have sexual relations on the backs of their choice of cattle or steer.”

This new and amazing business opportunity is not going forward without it’s fair share of resistance from Arkansas residents. Many people feel that the franchise will bring a new wave of STD’s to both the local residents as well as area livestock. “Dem bad folks comin up her and spreadin dat dare disorders and such makes me as nervous as a hedgehog withis smella stuck in a rattlas chompas” said Billy Jenkins Buttorsworth of north Arkansas. His fears are shared by many, including local church groups and boy scout troops.

“These fears are completely unfounded” stated Ben Meade. “In the entire history of the Bunny Ranch Corp., our employees have never given an STD to any form of livestock.” continued Ben. Ben then corrected himself by saying, “Ok, there was this time that a horse got gonnaherpeclap; but that was because he refused to wear a condom after multiple warnings.”

Ben also says that this will bring many new jobs for area woman and cause a huge boost to the local economy. “We are offering Arkansas woman with the opportunity to better themselves, help others, and support their community. And just think, with the money that the new Bunny Ranch makes, Arkansas can finally afford to build a public school.”

The franchises will be located near fast food chains and gas stations to further the convenience factor and ensure a steady flow of visitors. There are also plans in place for the Arkansas franchises to sponsor Arkansas Little League and Pee-Wee sports teams. “This is just one more way we plan to fully integrate ourselves into the community and offer additional community services.”

While the legalities of this business opportunity are still being drawn out, community leaders have stated that there will be no attempt to interfere with the development so long as they are provided with “season passes” to the “new team” that is “starting a franchise” in “this area”. It should be noted that the community leaders were physically making quotation signs with their fingers, winking wildly and nudging each other while giggling like school children as they made that statement.