Humping show didn’t catch an audience like first suspected.

(satire disclaimer)A new TV series hoping to cash in on the success of such amazing shows such as dancing with the stars and skating with celebrities has been abruptly canceled. “Dry Humping With Broadway Performers” had been given a top evening spot on the UPN network.

Hosted by the Duke lacrosse team, the new show was a sure fire hit according to experts. “Come on, let’s be real here for a minute, dancing, skating, all of these are just forms of sex with clothes on…” said UPN executive, Jack Thomas. “It’s all a bunch of fancy dry humping.”

The new show was to feature a “humping contest” where various horny people would team up with Broadway performers and snatch up unsuspecting people from New York city streets. Whoever snatched up and dry humped the most people in a given amount of time would be announced the winner. The winning team would receive a handsome trophy depicting Mike Tyson and Kobe Bryant dry humping Katie Couric.

It was not immediately clear whether the teams would actually hump their victims or just place them in a van and drive around for a few blocks before releasing them. UPN’s Jack Thomas explained that each victim would receive a bag full of money and rash ointment as a “participation prize”.

The members of the pilot episode consisted of the casts of The Phantom of the Opera and Rent. Howard McGillin, who plays the lead role in the Broadway hit The Phantom of the Opera told us that, “I was really looking forward to this becoming a regular series. On Broadway, I just pretend to be a weirdo that assaults a woman. I could have actually made that a reality.”

Media experts agree that while this type of entertainment may seem a bit unorthodox, it is a shame that it did not work out. “I really feel that this could have been the turning point for UPN. UPN could have finally made it out of FOX’s shadow” stated some homeless guy with a portable TV on Spring street and Broadway.

While this latest attempt to bring UPN out of the gutter was ill fated, who knows what amazing ideas will be lurking around the corner.

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