Order your crossbow today and see it this week!

Every month or so in the mail we get a catalog that doesn’t belong to us, but of course, no one ever really complains about not getting a catalog so we keep it and use it to entertain ourselves. It’s called Cheaper Than Dirt, and it features almost everything you could ever need to survive in the jungle, all from military surplus. You can even buy guns, blow darts, cross bows, long range sights so you can pick off targets from over 500 feet away, and machine guns that could really impress your friends even though it is in 40 pieces.

Round up for the Savings Stampede!

Looking through the pages of this catalog, and seeing the crossbows prices between $12.00 and $20.00, and thinking about my neighbor, and all the crazy loons that walk up and down Fry Street all day chanting to themselves, it really makes me begin to question my safety. Could the guy I see across the street sitting the front yard be the type to shot me down with his $13.99 crossbow with auto reload; comes complete with six bolts.

Six bolts, long metal pins, are enough to take me down.

Their selection of blow darts and cross bows.

Of course, I want to be able to shoot things with a cross bow; I just don’t want anyone else to be able to. Dangers of the real world aside, sitting safe inside our house away from the windows with the lights turn off, just a candle light to let us read, friends I trust and I read about all the cool stuff you could buy for so cheap. Military gas cans and helmets, tents, blankets, and other rather inanimate stuff.

Please don’t order this catalog, at least for the sake a safety.

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