LOS ANGELES — The impact of a strike by porn writers was still not very evident, even as the strike entered its tenth year. While production on approximately twelve adult films was stopped due to the strike, both the porn industry and the porn watching community are barely able to tell that anything has changed.
Filming on the 27th installment of the popular porn series “Norwegian Testicle Bouncers” was set to wrap up Friday and Studio 69 Pictures spokesman Larry Dunwalt said he has simply tied macaque monkeys to chairs in front of computers running Microsoft Word until the strike is over. “There is no discernible difference between the writer’s work and these monkeys simply banging their hands on the keyboard while a banana is teasingly dangled just out of their reach,” said Dunwalt.
Some pornographic films were not affected by the writers strike at all including “Don’t Talk Just Bang,” “Shut the Fuck up and Fuck me,” “My Mouth is Too Busy To Produce Words Right Now,” and “Mute Mary and the Faceless Martian.”
Many pornographic film stars are expressing support for the writers. “I love what my writers do for me,” said popular pornographic film star Buster Hornball. “I greatly appreciate all the scripts they write for us, even though we simply ignore them and spit in eachother’s mouths for the entire film.”
Films that will have to stop production include “Commencement Speech Gang Bang Part 2,” “When Public Speaking Gets Nasty,” and “Read To Me While You Slap My Ass,” according to Ralph Harrison, a spokesman for Verbiage Fetish Studios.
The strike started on a Tuesday immediately after last-minute negotiations between the Porn Writers Guild and the Alliance of Booty Movies Producers were unable to agree on how much porn writers should be paid when adult films are offered in the back rooms of erotic novelty stores.
A group of exhausted striking porn writers who were picketing outside the Booty Clap studios in Hollywood were joined by a number of adult film stars as well as loyal fans.
“This is the least we could do for these people,” said one adult film fan who wished to remain anonymous because he is the pharmacist at the CVS pharmacy at 11831 Hawthorne Blvd.
Many writers have been forced to take up oddly ironic side jobs such as pizza delivery man, plumber, pool boy, and proctologist in order to pay their bills during the strike.
One writer felt bad for leaving the actors without scripts so he made a simple flash card that stated, “How about you just shut the fuck up and bang the shit out of her for once.”
Luckily, the extended strike is not expected to have a noticeable impact on customers named Mark Garrison. Most individuals named Mark Garrison have stockpiled hundreds of adult films that should hold them off till at least next week.
Save This Page |
|---|

Save This Page
Humor
Pop Substance
The Computer
Higher Quality
Affairs
The Column



