(satire disclaimer) : A planet that has orbited the same sun as we do, coming as close as Neptune to the sun during its orbit, has now been set free from being the other planets little bitch, and it now free to explore the universe as an official “Planet” of the United Solar System Planet Federation.

For years the planet about twice the size of Pluto has slaved and toiled, keeping all the other planets in line and playing a vital part in the solar system, but has never received any pay or recognition for all its hard work. Many claim they knew nothing about the harsh treatment of the planet because it was orbiting the sun 45 degrees off the normal plain that the other planets orbit.

“I’m glad to see the planet free.” One woman said. “I am sure it will be happier now that it can chase its own dreams.”

The other planets of the solar system held a meeting last Friday to determine if any compensation was needed for the planet.

“No one cares about the damn planet,” Jupiter said. “It is over 400 degrees below zero on the surface. Who would ever want to deal with that? I know that I am just a bunch of gas, but at least I have some heat on the inside. No one likes rocks of ice, unless they are in your drink. We already set the planet free, now who is going to clean around here?”

Venus felt that more needed to be done before the problem was resolved.

“It’s a planet just like you and I!” Venus said. “We must care and provide rights to this planet. We only have 10 planets; don’t you think we should be able to provide for everyone fairly?”

Earth suggested an idea most of the planets were able to agree on.

“We can build a few homes and maybe a gas station on the planet and boost the economy. The entire planet will benefit, and the heat from people living on the planet, having fires going in their fire places and such, will be good for the planet.”

Crews are on their way to build homes that are said to be selling like hot cakes. Their value is expected to double as the year comes to an end because of the expected large migration of people tired of being crowed on the earth and moon.

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