You know, I have been working on this website for so long, and no one seems to care. No one reads this shit anymore, and I never get any compliments from the ladies. Well, I tell you know, my time has come, and I will no longer be that CricketSoda loser guy. I have decided to sell CricketSoda for $1.6 million dollars to the eBay company.

According to them, users of my website seem to buy a high number of concert tickets to the high dollar events like Coachella. Thank god for over priced festival concerts. They have allowed all this to happen.

I do want to apologize to all the writers and contributers, the actors from the videos, the sound guys, the camera grips, the makeup artists, the exec, all the pushers and sponsors, promoters and fluffers. It seems that after all the fees (you know how eBay is with fees) there is only enough money for me to take and live off the rest of my days as a professional Internet chat room trash talker.

Or perhaps I will work on my Internet Scrabble Club ranking. My friends say that the only reason I suck is because I have to get used to playing online, so I am coming for your ass.

And what a perfect time for this to happen, the first of April! A new month, and a new start, with a super fat bank account. I am so glad I had this dream of building a website like CricketSoda, so that I could sell that dream later for bread, which I can now use to get fucked up, and forget about the world.

Most of you are probably thinking wow, $1.6 million is a lot of money, but in reality, it is very little compared to all the work I put into CricketSoda. If I do my calculations right, with the number of hours I put into it, I made about $1.50 per hour.

Rich Bitch.

So if anyone wants to find me, I am sorry, but you can’t. I don’t really want to share the money, even though all the other people on here deserve it way more than I do, so I am moving and starting a new life in Mexico.

And if you are still bored today, on this fabulous day, I suggest checking out some of the other features to be found on the Internet. Many of them are much better than CricketSoda’s attempt at pranks. CricketSoda is mostly pranks, so our doesn’t stick out as much. Google had a pretty good prank this year:

Google TiSP : http://www.google.com/tisp/

Happy April Fools Day!