I will be presenting stories from time to time that my nine year old son wrote. No, this is not some gag, they were really written by him. I’m not the kind of parent that puts those retarded “My Son Blah Blah” stickers on their cars, but this kid isn’t half bad. So without further ado, I hereby present to you the first ever published piece from the satire and humor child prodigy, Mark Garrison Jr.

The Person Who Believed He Could Fly and How Jesus Died

By Mark Garrison Jr.

There once was a person who believed he could fly. Then he saw a rainbow and said, “Hi rainbow!!!” He wondered if he could find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. He said, “Luck, here I come!” When he got to the rainbow, when he saw the colors, he fainted from happiness.

Then the song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” came on and raised the person up and alive. Angels formed around him and they were singing that song and gave him a fake halo and also gave him a Halo 3 and an XBOX 360 Elite.

Then drunk Jesus rap star came and invited all his peoples over. Then they sung a song featuring Fat Joe, they had diamond shirts on. One of Jesus’s diamonds fell off and he said “Who the heck did this?!?!?!” Then his good conscience and bad consciences came out his butt and he said “Wait, I don’t have consciences.”

Then they just disintergrated but then he formed into an airplane and missiles came out his nose and bombs out his eyes. Fat Joe started shooting armpit hair out of his ears. Meanwhile in Jesus’s mind, he just remembered he didn’t lock his cave (and fridge). Then he remembered he had just ordered fat plumbers to fix his toilet. Just as the plumbers walked in his cave, they saw a fridge. One plumber said, “Should we?” the other plumber said, “Oh yeah.”

Meanwhile, where everything doesn’t make sense, Jesus had ran out of ammo and got his emergency ammo (unfortunately his ammo was light bulbs). The light bulbs were bought at Dollar Tree so they basically exploded in mid air. The leftovers hit Jesus’s rocket boosters, then they blew up. So Jesus span out of control and fortunately died. That is the story of the person who believed he could fly and how Jesus died.

Mark Garrison Jr. grew up in San Antonio, TX, being inspired by his dad, a comedic writer. Mark thought he should start writing humorous stories. When it comes to being normal, it is hard for him. He has written twenty seven stories from second to fourth grade. He has an A+ in writing. He thanks pencils and paper.

Well there you have it. I guess there is some hope for todays youth after all. The kid even wrote the bio himself.