Thank Goodness I found something to be thankful for

I had a crazy dream last night, and I am still struggling to understand it. In the dream I was face to face with a huge turkey. The turkey had to be the size of a car, and for some reason, the only thought going through my head as I looked into those huge beady eyes was that this thing could kick my ass.

Turkey Sandwich with Cheese

So I looked the turkey in the eye and I said, “Look here turkey! You gotta have a lot of nerve coming in here like this with your feathers and your gullet and trying to push people around!”

The turkey just stared me down, until I fell over into an Indian position sit.

Once he had me where he wanted me the turkey raised his mighty head and let out a tremendous roar.

“Gobble, Gobble, Gobble”

And then the thing broke out into song!

Ain’t nothing like turkey to make you fall asleep,
Ain’t nothing like turkey to sweep you off your feet
Ain’t nothing like turkey to fill you to the top
Ain’t nothing like turkey, give me turkey non stop

Ain’t nothing like turkey, Ain’t nothing like turkey,
Ain’t nothing like turkey, Ain’t nothing like turkey.

When he finished with this song I looked at him confused not know what would happen next.

Nothing happened and the turkey went back to staring at me.

I woke up stuck to the sheets with sweat. I threw my clothes on are ran out the door. I drove as fast as I could to the store and ran inside. I went to the back and found the biggest damn turkey they had. I stabbed the turkey with my index finger and screamed!

“I am much bigger than you and always will be! At last! At last! I have found something to be thankful for!”

This Thanksgiving I might just stick to ham.

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