At first it seemed like the little white box next to the TV was designed to make me feel bad about myself. At the end of each game a screen comes up with a line graph showing your progress from the previous games. My graph had the sadface downward slope, showing that my progress was in fact not progress at all, but a worsening failure over time.

It took a few games for me to realize that it isn’t technically based on real life bowling. Things you can’t do with a heavy ball on the lanes, you can do with ease in the virtual ally. To achieve in the game you must put yourself in the shoes of a professional bowler. You have to go for the crazy ride the gutter split shots. Spin is important, and you can gain more power on your throw if you make it arc down the lane like the bowling savvy do in real life.

One day I sat down and played for hours, finally finding my sweet spot. Finally getting strike after strike, my graph looking up, my score rising and rising. Soon, I had a brand new ball, shiny and covered in sparkle, a symbol of my professionalism.

With the wii, its all in the wrist. With a quick flick of the wrist you can gain power you only dream about. Now when I bowl, and move to the far side of the lane, do a karate chop like motion, usually getting a laugh from those watching. Time and time again, my ball flies, and kills many, many pins.

I am a Wii Bowling Professional, and I challenge anyone.

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