Transformers have always been in the dreams of many cartoon fans of all ages. Take normal everyday items like tanks and cars and turn them into gigantic evil fighting robots and you have yourself a story thats easy to love. The release of the newest Transformers movie tries to combine the old school cartoon with the modern glamor and bang of movies like Independence Day. While it is filled with action that never ends, it also lacks character credibility and has a story line that doesn’t really take you anywhere.

Transformers is based around a boy coming of age, trying to do well in school so he can get a car and hopefully the hot girlfriend that comes along with the car. After getting the A on the test, fighting the jocko scum with the hot girlfriend, and buying the car with his dad ( a junker), he finally has everything he always wanted. Turns out, his car is from outer space, just happened to end up in the hands of this boy (the reason we find out later), and can transform into a large ass kicking robot. Thats where to story begins, and we dive straight into the action. Turns out the boy has a pair of glasses with the key to saving the world etched in the lens. The government gets involved after the bad guys destroy a military base (wouldn’t be complete without a little military action) and the rest is history (or rather in the movie), which I won’t spoil for you.

Because no matter how many bad things I have to say about the movie, it is worth a watch, and will be a great way to waste your time when you are done reading movie reviews.

Director Michal Bay makes way too much money. Now, he is going to earn a shit ton more for his latest release Transformers, which not only will sell millions of tickets using the established Transformers name, but the kick backs from product placement in this movie have to be lining the pockets of all involved. The entire movie felt like a car commercial, and even full chunks of the script seemed based on an eBay press release.

But if you put the fact that Robots could never use eBay properly (you can’t sell body parts on eBay, which rules out any electronics, they don’t have clothes, and credit card companies are unlikely to give them a line of credit without some type of ID or social security card) Transformers is a entertaining action movie. It is filled with plenty of explosions and destruction. For some though, this is more of a disappointment, because the movie focuses on the action rather than the cool robots themselves, and how they transform.

Its about the Robots! Not about things blowing up!

When things get heated up, it is sometimes hard to tell which robot is which, and who is winning the fight. The robots all looked so similar, it was hard to tell them apart. Most of the fighting scenes suffered because while you could see sparks, blades, and bullets flying, you could tell where one robot ends and the next one begins. If it wasn’t for the fact that they had color coordinated outfits, you might not ever know which robot was which until another character happen to mention his name.

The movie is unbelievable. While the movie tries to fit in some scientific truth to the plot, you really have to put yourself in the movies reality for you to enjoy yourself. Which some of the time is exactly what I am looking for in a movie. I want to escape the bored reality I live in, and see some really huge robots duke it out for the love of one boy. The good robots have some deep compassion programed into their circuits that causes them to love the human race. (very Terminator like style). All these are necessary I guess, just like the long robot speeches about the human race having a choice to exist!

Transformers lacked what it takes to make a movie a classic. It isn’t going to wow people for generations the way Star Wars did, and they didn’t have Arnold like in Terminator. But for a summer action movie, it has all the right ingredients. And while you may find yourself feeling some strange emotions toward robots that you never thought you would have, just remember that those robots saved us from certain destruction, and because of that, we can live our lives in peace, drinking our lattes and talking shit on movies over the World Wide Web.