West Creek Herald Personals
This week, CricketSoda begins an all new weekly feature titled West Creek Herald Personals. The town of West Creek is very unique, and it’s citizens need questionable sexual encounters, I mean, dates, just like the rest of us. So without further ado, I hereby present the first ever West Creek Herald Personals.
21 y/o recently divorced male seeks mild mannered woman to spend the rest of my life with. I enjoy arm wrestling, eating, drinking, breathing, and having sex with animals. Companion must be ok with a man having sex with animals. It would be really great if woman could be an animal but I realize not many animals read this paper. If woman looked like an animal, that would be fine too. Tall, large, hairy, smelly, a plus. Must love the outdoors. Hoofed feet would be a very big plus. Our first date would most likely be outdoors, eating raw meat and drinking unfiltered river water. All immunizations should be up to date before first meeting. Thank you. Now let’s meet! Ad # 48545
58 year old retired Army colonel seeks submissive Asian female for fun times. My definition of fun times consists of World War II war crimes reenactments. Female should be willing to dress up as Japanese soldier and be very flexible. Must not be able to escape from handcuffs easily. Must not be against having neighbor play the role of videographer. Loose sphincter a major plus. Talk to you soon! Ad# 485718
Oh, me so horny now. What sexy vermin up there. LOL
Comment by Christine — August 17, 2007 @ 9:32 am
Oh man…the sexy with animals thing hits close to home. I mean, not with me personally, but someone I know…well lets just say he should die.
Great article Mark!
Comment by Master Cricket — August 17, 2007 @ 10:07 am
Thanks!
Comment by Mark Garrison — August 17, 2007 @ 6:02 pm