West Creek Humane Society:

Bones is a 2-year-old Croatian Burmese/Persian mix. He’s an adorable little fellow who hates having his belly rubbed. He absolutely must live in a no-child home. He’s neutered, vaccinated, and on feline herpes treatment. He must have his lower jaw drained of pus every 5 minutes. He urinates from his eye sockets therefore a loving home is a must for this little guy! And don’t forget our 12th annual “Jaws for Paws” charity hot dog eating contest coming up Friday!

West Creek Animal Shelter:

Max is a 5-year-old Greenlander Bush Hopper in need of a very special family. Max’s mother was addicted to crack cocaine at the time of his birth. This poor little guy was born into a life of addiction and feels the effects to this day. He is known to routinely steal small bills and change from wallets and purses. Max requires 25 shots every day in order to keep him from biting his tongue off. He is blind, deaf, and unable to bark. While he may not make a great guard dog, he does shoot diarrhea at any unfamiliar smelling people. You will have to come by a day in advance so that we may familiarize him with your scent. Fun and games surely await the lucky family who takes Max home! Call now!

West Creek Animal Services:

Smiley is a 6-year-old Swahili/Dachshund mix in need of a loving home. Smiley is a homosexual dog who would do well in a household of the same orientation. Smiley does not do well with straight people or Republican males (canine or human). He frequently rapes felines so a cat free house would be a great idea! He’s microchipped, however, the procedure went wrong and the microchip migrated to his brain and he requires daily checks to ensure the chip has not moved. He has never been vaccinated and every veterinarian says it’s a miracle he is still alive. Smiley is happily heartworm free! Smiley’s purchase fee is only $579. Don’t forget to bring your new/unopened toy dolls for the 5th annual “Babies for Rabies” vaccination drive!

West Creek Parks and Wildlife:

Nitrox is a 15 year old badger/bobcat mix. It (workers haven’t been able to get close enough to determine sex) was found inside the carcass of a lost Alzheimer’s patient. The staff is confident that it won’t eat anymore men though it cannot make any guarantee’s about woman, small children, or other animals. Nitrox has not been vaccinated. The main reason for this is we are unsure what diseases this hybrid may have and he has bitten the hands off of five workers who simply attempted to pet him. Nitrox loves to play with lost limbs! His razor sharp claws are sure to be a conversation starter and his shark like teeth are great for those hard to open packages. Call us now, preferably before Nitrox eats himself.

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