Comments on: Satire Disclaimer

By: CricketSoda.com » Slim Jim Used in Prostitution Bust of Lady Liberty

CricketSoda.com » Slim Jim Used in Prostitution Bust of Lady Liberty — Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:24:55 +0000

[...] (Satire Disclaimer) According to local eye witness reports a “Slim Jim,” or really skinny guy dressed up like Uncle Sam, was used to bust well known prostitute “Lady Liberty.” Miss Liberty had been running a prostitute ring for over a year, and have developed a brand known as “The Night of Liberation.” Police report that with this bust, there a no longer an costume wearing prostitutes left in the city. [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » Late Night Sandwich Disaster, Many Missing, Closed Church Across the Street Only Toilet

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:13:45 +0000

[...] GA - (satire disclaimer) Working late to finish up a project, employees of Smith, Smith, and John Interactive faced a [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » Mexican Food Banned After Fart/Shart Mishap, Several Deaths Blamed on “Spicy Burrito”

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:49:50 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) The West Creek Elementary School has banned most forms of Mexican food including the “Exploding Motherload” burrito and “Omar’s Spicy Pepper Pouch” after an incident late yesterday morning involving an entire English class. According to preliminary reports, a male 3rd grade student went to fart on another students face “bare assed.” The victim suffered burns on 90% of his body, and later died at the hospital from extrema fart toxic shock. The doctor who tried to save the young student was also killed from a rare allergic reaction to extremely spicy peppers. Before the ban burritos were delievered via plane [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » CBS Offers Parents Freedom with “Free Camp”

CricketSoda.com » CBS Offers Parents Freedom with “Free Camp” — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:59:53 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) Parading your children in front of video cameras has always been fun (Hell, look at the popularity of YouTube), but it has never been so lucrative! After taping a three minute introduction, filling out a tedious 20 page application, and basically signing away the life and soul of your child they too can be a part of the adventure known as KidNation! [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » Britney Spears Not Allowed to Choose Own Clothing After VMA Upset

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 01:38:20 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) After causing many upset stomachs at the recent Video Music Awards, Britney Spears, according to inside sources, will no longer be allowed to pick out her own outfits before a show. Her manager said at a meeting of concerned friends and Spears’ investors that someone else will dress her so that we can avoid another “fat pig” incident. [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » FDA Approves “Morning-Before Pill”

CricketSoda.com » FDA Approves “Morning-Before Pill” — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 21:16:16 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) Las Vegas - Federal health officials decided on Wednesday to approve the “morning-before pill,” a controversial new form of birth control for over the counter sales. [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » New Element Found Under Frathouse Bathroom Mat

CricketSoda.com » New Element Found Under Frathouse Bathroom Mat — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 23:00:12 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) A group of young and inspired frat daddies discovered a new element astounding scientists everywhere. According to reports from the Douglas District Community College the schools only frat house discovered a new element, to be named Dougmold, under a mat in the 1st floor bathroom. The discovery happened during a science scavenger hunt, in which frat members had to find things like “girls with thong, see thru pants,” and “used condom wrapper.” A Greg is responsible for the find. [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » YouTube Commenter Killed, New Feature to Cut Back Spam

CricketSoda.com » YouTube Commenter Killed, New Feature to Cut Back Spam — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 01:48:19 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) YouTube installed a new feature on their website they are calling “The Shredder,” which detects when the user posts something that doesn’t add value to the community. The user is warned once, and on the second infraction, cut into a million pieces by lasers coming from their monitor. This works around current murder laws because it is technically being committed by a computer screen, and not a real person. [...]

By: CricketSoda.com » Halliburton to Recall President

CricketSoda.com » Halliburton to Recall President — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 23:31:25 +0000

[...] (satire disclaimer) Halliburton announced today that it will recall its cyberpresident model named “Bush” after lead was found in the nose and ear pieces. If you have purchased one of these defective models (congress) you are urged to return it immediately to Texas. [...]