Satire Disclaimer
sat·ire /ˈsætaɪər/ –noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
Please realize, if you have not already (which you should have) that CricketSoda writes a lot of satire, things that we completely make up. While we do have some real news events (nothing to serious of course) anything that says Satire Disclaimer before the story means that what you are about to read is in fact satire.
Also please understand that we don’t care if it makes you upset. Sometimes that is the point, and though our humor may be crude, we are deep down trying to make you think about life so that you may make it better.
We make fun, because constructive criticism isn’t always enough. Don’t take this stuff to seriously, because we made it up off the top of our heads. Thank you for your support. Please enjoy a fresh ice cold CricketSoda, on me. 
Comments
CricketSoda.com » Halliburton to Recall President said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) Halliburton announced today that it will recall its cyberpresident model named “Bush” after lead was found in the nose and ear pieces. If you have purchased one of these defective models (congress) you are urged to return it immediately to Texas. [...]
CricketSoda.com » YouTube Commenter Killed, New Feature to Cut Back Spam said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) YouTube installed a new feature on their website they are calling “The Shredder,” which detects when the user posts something that doesn’t add value to the community. The user is warned once, and on the second infraction, cut into a million pieces by lasers coming from their monitor. This works around current murder laws because it is technically being committed by a computer screen, and not a real person. [...]
CricketSoda.com » New Element Found Under Frathouse Bathroom Mat said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) A group of young and inspired frat daddies discovered a new element astounding scientists everywhere. According to reports from the Douglas District Community College the schools only frat house discovered a new element, to be named Dougmold, under a mat in the 1st floor bathroom. The discovery happened during a science scavenger hunt, in which frat members had to find things like “girls with thong, see thru pants,” and “used condom wrapper.” A Greg is responsible for the find. [...]
CricketSoda.com » FDA Approves “Morning-Before Pill” said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) Las Vegas - Federal health officials decided on Wednesday to approve the “morning-before pill,” a controversial new form of birth control for over the counter sales. [...]
CricketSoda.com » Britney Spears Not Allowed to Choose Own Clothing After VMA Upset said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) After causing many upset stomachs at the recent Video Music Awards, Britney Spears, according to inside sources, will no longer be allowed to pick out her own outfits before a show. Her manager said at a meeting of concerned friends and Spears’ investors that someone else will dress her so that we can avoid another “fat pig” incident. [...]
CricketSoda.com » CBS Offers Parents Freedom with “Free Camp” said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) Parading your children in front of video cameras has always been fun (Hell, look at the popularity of YouTube), but it has never been so lucrative! After taping a three minute introduction, filling out a tedious 20 page application, and basically signing away the life and soul of your child they too can be a part of the adventure known as KidNation! [...]
CricketSoda.com » Mexican Food Banned After Fart/Shart Mishap, Several Deaths Blamed on “Spicy Burrito” said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) The West Creek Elementary School has banned most forms of Mexican food including the “Exploding Motherload” burrito and “Omar’s Spicy Pepper Pouch” after an incident late yesterday morning involving an entire English class. According to preliminary reports, a male 3rd grade student went to fart on another students face “bare assed.” The victim suffered burns on 90% of his body, and later died at the hospital from extrema fart toxic shock. The doctor who tried to save the young student was also killed from a rare allergic reaction to extremely spicy peppers. Before the ban burritos were delievered via plane [...]
CricketSoda.com » Late Night Sandwich Disaster, Many Missing, Closed Church Across the Street Only Toilet said,
[...] GA - (satire disclaimer) Working late to finish up a project, employees of Smith, Smith, and John Interactive faced a [...]
CricketSoda.com » Slim Jim Used in Prostitution Bust of Lady Liberty said,
[...] (Satire Disclaimer) According to local eye witness reports a “Slim Jim,” or really skinny guy dressed up like Uncle Sam, was used to bust well known prostitute “Lady Liberty.” Miss Liberty had been running a prostitute ring for over a year, and have developed a brand known as “The Night of Liberation.” Police report that with this bust, there a no longer an costume wearing prostitutes left in the city. [...]
CricketSoda.com » Coin of Justice to Replace Failing Legal System said,
[...] (satire disclaimer) : Lawmakers plan to announce a new form of justice this week; a coin with a image of death on one side, and prosperity on the other. This coin is to replace the current legal system and it set to save millions in court costs, at the same time speeding up the justice process giving the accused a much quicker trial than before. [...]
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